Online counselling | What it actually feels like

Photo by Markus Spiske

A lot of people are sceptical about online counselling. They think it cannot work as well as being in the room. That something important gets lost through a screen. That it will feel awkward or distant.

I understand the hesitation. I had some of it myself before I started offering it. But having worked with clients online for a while now, I can say honestly that it works.

Not in the same way as in person. But it works.

The worry about it feeling fake

The most common concern people have is that online counselling will feel surface level. That you cannot build a real connection through a screen. That it will feel like a work call.

It does not. Within a few minutes most people forget they are on a screen. The conversation takes over. The feelings are the same. The honesty is the same. The pauses, the tears, the moments where something lands, they all happen online just as they do in the room.

The relationship between you and your counsellor matters more than the medium you use to talk.

Who online counselling suits

Some people choose online counselling because of distance. They live too far from my practice in Kent to come in person. Others are across the UK and want to work with me specifically.

Some people choose it because of time. No driving, no parking, no sitting in a waiting room. You close your laptop and you are already home.

Some people actually find it easier to open up through a screen. There is a slight distance that can make vulnerability feel safer. You are in your own space, in your own chair, with your own cup of tea. For some people that matters.

And some people start online and later switch to in person, or the other way around. It does not have to be one or the other.

What you need

A private space where you will not be overheard or interrupted. That is the main thing. A bedroom, a home office, a parked car if that is what works. Somewhere you can speak freely without worrying about who is listening.

A reasonable internet connection. It does not need to be perfect. If we lose connection we reconnect. It is not a disaster.

Headphones can help. They make the conversation feel more contained and private.

What is different about online counselling

I will be honest. There are small things you lose. I cannot see your whole body, so I pick up less from posture and movement. The energy in the room is different. There is no shared physical space.

But there are things you gain. You are in your own environment, which can feel grounding. You do not have to travel when you are already feeling low. You can access counselling during a lunch break or after the children are in bed.

Neither format is better. They are different. What matters is that you feel able to talk honestly, and that can happen anywhere.

If you have been putting it off because of the online part

Do not let the format be the thing that stops you. If something is weighing on you and you have been thinking about counselling, the how matters less than the starting.

I offer online sessions across the UK. You can get in touch through the contact page.