The sh*t bag

This one came from my supervisor. I was working with a client who was carrying a lot of anger, the kind that sits in your chest and has nowhere to go. My supervisor suggested something so simple I almost dismissed it. But it works.

It is called the sh*t bag.

Photo by With Mahdy

You take a paper bag, any paper bag, and you keep it somewhere accessible. When something hits you, a feeling, a thought, a moment of anger or sadness or frustration that feels too big to just sit with, you write it down on a strip of paper. One line, a few words, whatever comes out. You fold it up and you put it in the bag. You do not read it back. You do not analyse it. You just put it in the bag.

Over time the bag fills up. Some weeks it fills quickly, some weeks nothing goes in. There is no schedule, no right way to do it. You just keep going until the bag feels full, or until you feel full, whichever comes first.

When that moment arrives, you take the bag outside. You place it in a metal container, something fireproof, a barbecue, a fire pit, a biscuit tin. And you burn it.

That is it.

There is no ceremony to it, no special breathing exercise, no guided meditation. You just watch it go. Some people feel lighter straight away. Some people cry. Some people feel nothing much at all and that is fine too. The point is not the burning. The point is the whole process, the noticing, the writing, the letting it leave your body and land somewhere else, even temporarily.

Photo by Jossuha Théophile

I think the reason it works is because it gives feelings somewhere to go that is not back inside you. A lot of the time when people are carrying anger or sadness they push it down, distract themselves, keep moving. The sh*t bag does something different. It says yes, this is here, I am going to acknowledge it, and then I am going to let it go on my terms.

You do not need to be in therapy to use this. You do not need to be in crisis. You just need a paper bag and something to write with.

It is not a replacement for deeper work. If the bag is filling up every day, or the same thing keeps appearing on the strips of paper, that might be worth paying attention to. But as a tool for the space between sessions, or for anyone who needs somewhere to put what they are carrying, it is one of the most useful things I have come across.

Try it. See what happens.

If you want to talk about what keeps filling the bag, you can get in touch through my contact page.